It’s a busy time of year, isn’t it? When isn’t it busy, though?
Particularly when life is hectic, it’s easy to take loved ones for granted, especially our husbands. Do you remember what he looks like? No, I’m serious! Can you picture him in your mind? Would you be able to describe your husband in enough detail for an accurate picture to be drawn by one of those police or sketch artists? When you first met, it would probably have been easy–his face was always on your mind!
What’s always there now? Maybe he’s still there. But, what is frequently there now? It may not be a person. What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? The last thing before you go to bed. Your list? The kids? Your blog? Facebook?
There’s a quote which I typed up, printed and framed a number of years ago (when our kids were at that discourteous age); it goes like this:
“We must choose to be courteous and develop the discipline of courtesy each day. We do not stumble into being a gentleman or lady. The home that has no time for courtesy will always have time for rudeness. The home that does not take time for compliments will always have time for complaints. The home that has no time for smiles will always have time for frowns. And the home that has no time for sweet, loving words will always find time for harsh, critical words.” Morris Chalfant
When we have much on our minds, even common courtesy may go out the door of our homes. Without realizing it, we may become oblivious, and not really even “see” the people we live with (whom we love).
I’ve been trying to be more thoughtful, gracious and kind in our home. It’s not a habit yet, so I still have to think about and work at it, but I’m trying to remember to say a genuine thank you to my family members, and especially to my husband, for the “routine,” everyday, but sacrificial things he does in our home–for me and our family. It is important! But, it requires that I notice him, and what he does for us.
When I recently had to drive every day to the hospital to visit my mother, not only the drive got to me–but being out in the “world,” getting dressed nicely every day, having to hit the road every morning, the stress of the day. It all made me so very grateful for my husband who has faithfully been hitting the road and providing for our family for 30+ years! As a stay-at-home mom, I am accustomed to being home, and I like it there (for the most part). Having to be gone every day made me deeply appreciative of being home.
Our husbands need our respect, admiration and thanks for the little (and big) things they do every day. The Lord prompted me one night as I drove home from the hospital to go to my husband and tell him, “I respect you so much for going to work faithfully every day, without complaining.” When I expressed this, I also told him that having had this experience had increased my respect for him monumentally.
I heard the following suggestion years ago; it was quoted as being potentially marriage-changing:
Meet your husband at the door when he gets home from work, put your arms around him, and after you’ve given him an appropriate welcome, just gaze into each others’ eyes for 30 seconds.
That’s all. Now, you might need to prepare him for this, if you’ve been pretty much ignoring him lately, or if he’s just used to seeing a blur rush by. But, half a minute of looking deep into each others’ eyes–really “seeing” one another–may change your marriage. It doesn’t take a lot. A little gentle attention and common courtesy goes a long way towards making a marriage great.
By Wendy Gunn (Faith’s Firm Foundation)
[...] Wendy on December 8, 2011 I’m posting At the Well [...]
We are not meant to do life with our husbands side by side, but rather, face to face
This is a wonderful reminder. I am so very thankful to my husband for getting up at 4:00 each morning to go to work for our family. I get up to fix his breakfast and lunch, and to give him a good kiss before he heads out the door. I think that is the least I can do. And I try to give him my full attention in the evenings, but at times (we have 6 children) I find myself rather distracted. I will be paying more attention to “my attention”.
I understand how blessed I am to have a godly husband who is a good provider, and I’m especially grateful that he really enjoys what he does for a living! I need to let him know that more often.
Love the suggestion about meeting him at the door and looking into his eyes. I’m going to try that one!
I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this one. I really believe that I have been blessed with the best of husbands. He is a wonderful father and grandfather and loves our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ with all of his heart.
I have been greeting him for many years as he comes home from work. Now he works at home and I often go in to his office to just kiss him on his forehead. Blessings to you today for your thoughtful post.
I think this reminder is especially applicable in the age of facebook, texting, etc. Electronic connecting does not replace real life connecting.
When my kids were little we would meet their daddy at the door every night when he came home from work. I still go to greet him but the kids are grown now.