One of the benefits of reading through the Bible regularly is often a passage will speak to you as it never has before. Such was the case during a recent trip through Song of Solomon, when I stopped to ponder Solomon’s analogy of a wife to a walled up garden.
As I meditated on this passage, I Googled the various phrases to see what others have said in the past on it, and it would seem the primary application for this verse is modesty versus immodesty, and I would agree with that too. However something more struck me as I meditated on it further.
The wife is not said to be the gardener, but the garden itself. She is the garden. Solomon (her husband) is the gardener, the one who tends her, and the one who enjoys the fruits of her garden. I love to garden and to create special spaces inside of my gardens around my house, and so this brings up so many lovely mental images for me of a special garden reserved for only one, a place of safety, of security, and of beauty in which flowers and fruits flourish.
The beauty of Song of Solomon is that it is both a love story about a husband and wife, and an allegory of Christ’s love for His church. We serve the Lord, but it is ultimately He that causes us to bear fruit for Him (see John 15 and Galatians 5). As we seek to abide in Christ, He works through us, to be glorified. In a similar way, we don’t just sit back and do nothing in a marriage either, but as we reserve ourselves for our spouses alone, and as we pursue, together, that unity in marriage, our garden grows and bears fruit.
When I first became a Christian as a young adult, I struggled with the seemingly misogynistic verses of the Bible. I grew up around abusive relationships, and these were a stumbling block for me. I’ve noticed that those who have experienced abuse read those verses differently than those who have only had positive, loving relationships in their lives, just as those who have had abusive fathers have a hard time calling God “Father.”
God never promotes spouse abuse. A garden doesn’t grow if the gardener is recklessly trampling the tender plants, and then growing angry at the garden for not producing fruit for him.
A garden, to be fruitful, doesn’t just need to be tended properly, but it also needs to have the right sort of soil and the right amount of sunlight.
The soil of our hearts needs to be that good soil:
- Not so hard and stony that the seeds sown upon it bounce off, wither, and die. We can’t only love and respect others, especially our husbands, when it is easy to do.
- Not left unprotected so that the birds are able to swoop down and take the seeds. We must be careful not to allow our hearts to be left unprotected to various things that bring discouragement, distress, and get our eyes off of that which really matters
- Not full of thorns and weeds that will choke out the seeds as they start to grow. Together, as husband and wife, we must keep short accounts, weeding on a regular basis. When we weed the garden, I tell my children that a weed is anything that is growing where I don’t want it to grow. Anything that doesn’t belong in that spot reserved for our husbands alone must go.
- Good soil is properly balanced and fed. Our gardens also need the right amount of sunlight. Christlikeness comes from spending time in His presence through prayer and reading (and meditating) on His word (2 Corinthians 3:18).
A Christian marriage isn’t the result of having a wedding in a church. A Christian marriage is a marriage between two people who are each, as individuals, living for Christ, and growing in their Christlikeness. There will be times when we each may not be all we ought to be in the Lord, but we are able to encourage each other through our lives to keep pressing towards the mark.
A very well written piece! When I read the book "Captivating" by Staci Eldridge, she encouraged her readers to also read through the book of Song of Solomon. It was truly beautiful and I enjoyed it immensely!
FANTASTIC TEACHING- so rich, so good for my soul!
I appreciate the encouragement to keep the soil of my heart and to press on towards the Mark with my hubby. Blessings, Laurie
Awesome! Thanks!!
I came across this and like it a lot. Speaking as a Christian marriage counselor, I think you did a great job capturing God's truth.
Excellent post! So thought provoking and full of truth. I'll be mulling this over for awhile. Thank you!
It is very interesting reading Galatians 5, starting with 19 to 22.
Your post is a great start for lots of study, thanks.
What an amazing post! The Lord has gifted you with some wonderful insights.
Blessings.
Great post. It's good that you have successfully gotten past the negative events in your life. I love your use of imagery as well.
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Christian Marriage Resources for you.