Recently I gave a talk about homeschooling with little ones; I discussed meeting the unique needs of the littles and practical ways of integrating them into the homeschool routine. I was quite surprised after the talk to have a somewhat negative comment left on my blog about my mention of “blanket training,” which we typically do with our children once they are able to crawl around and (more importantly) understand the meaning of the word “No.”
When I first heard of blanket training, it was described to me as a way of teaching children boundaries and encouraging them to play independently in a “safe” area–great for when you’re at a busy church gathering or want to keep them quietly playing during an adult conversation or even school time. The idea is to give the child a couple of options for books or quiet toys and encourage them to play with only those things, on the blanket, for about five minutes or so. During subsequent sessions, you can extend the time by a few minutes until eventually, the child is comfortable playing independently in that defined space for 20 minutes or so. Sounds great, no?
What I had not known is that the concept of child training has been linked to the use of a switch, and thus, a knee-jerk negative reaction when I talked about “blanket training” with little ones as young as nine months old. I did mention that I will give my toddlers a little “spank” at first, if necessary, to keep them on the blanket…but didn’t have time to really expand upon that because the Q & A period was coming to a close. What I wish I could have explained is that, for me, a “spank” for a one year-old is a tap on the hand with my index finger. Not what you might read elsewhere.
Since this incident a couple of other things have come up, to cause me to think more about the topic of child training. And I’m realizing that “child training” has been equated with spanking or the use of “the rod”–and that is quite unfortunate. Instead, child training should be understood as the process by which we impart to our children not only the practical skills they will need upon emancipation, but the spiritual as well. As Christian parents, we want our children to embrace the truth of the Gospel and grow in a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. “Child training” is just a small (but vital) part of that equation.
Spanking a child is not the alpha and omega of good child training–or, for that matter, parenting. There are “good” parents who spank, and “good” parents who don’t. Ultimately, child training encompasses so much more that is of essential value. Maintaining a joyful home atmosphere is just as important, if not more so, than the use of any “methods.” Biblical encouragement and teaching of truth are also necessary foundations. Lacking these, discipline has little meaning. Loving relationships must be nurtured between parents and children, and the goal of all discipline should be the heart, not the back-side. Children are individuals and must be treated as such; “training” is not a one-size-fits-all process.
Feel free to visit our Web site to read about our proactive training sessions–they are fun for everyone and have been instrumental in our parenting. There is a “softer side” to child training! I hope you’ll also take a minute to read this article, which offers a neat strategy to help you maintain a more positive home atmosphere–a vital prerequisite to successful child training.
Great thoughts on child training. Thank you for sharing them.
I understand about “training” our children in the way they should go… but blanket training to me is a little like teaching a puppy to pee on a pee pad. Children should be trained in the “respect” area, such as respect one another, their surroundings, personal belongings, etc. While everyone “trains”, I would not use that word but since you did, don’t you think parents go a little to nuts when it comes to different “training” ideas? Both my children, from the time they could speak, would say yes, no, yes, thank you, please… by having everyday respect for others they learned to not wonder far from the “blanket” and they didn’t even have a blanket!
Hi Amy!
I do believe the term “training” no longer conveys the simple meaning that it should. As parents, we train our children in many ways–and all should be, as you said, focused on raising them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Unfortunately, we sometimes get hung up on the externals and might think that if we “do this” or “do that” we’ll achieve the goal.
As to blanket training in particular…there are many tools that we can put in our parenting tool kit, but not everyone will build their house in the same way.