Note from the Owners: Today’s post deals with the subject of Biblical Submission. This can be a tough subject sometimes because the very word “submit” can leave a very negative connotation in our human understanding. We want to make it very clear that in today’s post, when the author talks about being under a husband’s authority or the woman’s train crashing, she is NOT talking about ABUSE. Please, please do not try to pervert or twist the words of our author to take it as such. For further reading, you might want to check out this article.
For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. (1 Corinthians 11:8-9)
These verses have convicted me lately. On a good day, they can sound all romantic and flowery. But on a day when I think that I have a better idea, it is not so pretty. Trust me.
A very dear and Godly woman shared that marriage was not about me on my own train, Brian on his, the both of us side by side on the tracks of life riding off into the sunset happily ever after. Not so! Once I married Brian, my train had actually crashed! I was now on his train.
It was no longer about my plans, my will, my ideas, my agenda. I was created for him, not him for me. That does not mean that I cannot share my heart with him and contribute to the decisions we make. It does mean that I need to defer to him. He is my head, my cover. I am a woman under authority–my husband’s. He most definitely is a man under authority–not mine, but Christ’s.
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3, see also Ephesians 5:23)
Here are some examples of when it might be helpful to remember that my train has indeed crashed. We’ll start out easy and get progressively more difficult. Let me say, though, that when you are right in the middle of any of these, none of them are easy. In fact, the simplest one can feel just as hard as the others. Each one is an opportunity to line my thoughts with the Word of God and submit to my husband as unto the Lord (Ephesian 5:22). Which often times, for me, comes with a great deal of wrestling and sometimes crying, loudly, out to my Father and pleading for help.
- you think this whole pile of wood should be scrapped and gotten rid of, but your husband thinks you should keep it.
- your husband has two-thirds of the closet and now he wants more.
- your husband decides he wants to grow enough produce to feed your family the whole winter, which means you, who will be eight months pregnant at harvest time, will be far busier than you were planning.
- your husband chooses to stay at a church that you feel is detrimental to your family, or, feels led to home church for a season and you are just plain old hungry for some fellowship.
- your husband decides three children are all you can afford and handle and wants you to use birth control.
- your husband, in your opinion, is making some very unwise financial decisions.
- your husband just doesn’t seem to lead your family like you think he should, nor does he discipline the children consistently.
I am not trying to make light of this subject, but sometimes I think we need to simplify it just a bit. I cannot tell you how many times since hearing this story I have told myself, “my train has crashed, my train has crashed.” Try it, I bet it will help. You might even want to put a sign up saying, “My Train Has Crashed” on your mirror, the refrigerator, or wherever you might need the reminder.
I have shared this with my husband, and to his credit, not once has he said, “hey, hasn’t your train crashed?” I humbly admit that he has had ample opportunity to say this. He is so wise, isn’t he?