Let me ask a question…How does your day go when you are grouchy…complaining about every little thing?
How does your day go when you are thankful, happy, and counting your blessings?
For me, at least, if I’m grouching and complaining, I’m miserable and so is everyone around me. I’m not happy and cheerful and neither is anyone in my vicinity. But, if I’m happy and counting my blessings…even when I’m in a rotten mood…my countenance begins to change. I begin to stop majoring on the minors and those around me are in a much better mood.
When we find ourselves complaining because DH hasn’t’ picked up his dirty clothes, or his wet towel didn’t make it in the hamper; when we complain that he didn’t clean the sink out after he shaved again or that he tromped mud on our clean kitchen floor…what kind of reaction do we, as wives, think we are going to get?
Our man is going to go immediately into defense mode and protect himself. He is going to hear, “Nag, nag, nag.” He is going to shut down or lash out and honestly, none of that sounds very enjoyable to me.
“It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.”
Proverbs 21:19, NLT
Ladies, we have to change our frame of mind. We are the help-meet and we set the tones for our homes.
Please, let’s be honest…is it really such a big deal to pick up our man’s wet towels or to clean the whiskers out of the sink? How much time does it truly take?
A better question might be, would the nagging and whining be worth the irritated, depressive spirit that would enter our home? No. It’s not worth it.
I can understand where some women might worry that their hubby would take advantage and become a total slob, expecting her to pick up and go behind him all of the time. I have found, though, that usually, in just a short amount of time, DH realizes that he’s making a mess over what I’ve already cleaned and that he soon begins to make sure to pick up after himself to eliminate extra work on me. All because I didn’t complain or point out his ‘messes.’
My sweet man is notorious for cutting grass or weed eating and bringing all the loose grass and weeds in on his shoes and clothes. Of course, that means I can keep up with him by the trail of grass he leaves behind.
I have two choices: I could get angry and complain and tell him that it would be great if he’d just dust off before he came in. That would only succeed in making him feel like my child instead of my husband, which would make him angry, which I would pick up on. Then my already bad attitude would just get worse.
Doesn’t sound like a good option to me. Or..
I could get my broom and begin sweeping up the mess and as DH passes by, give him a gentle whack on the behind with my broom. (This is actually the choice I do make)
As he feels the whack, DH sill stop, turn and give me a most wicked grin to which I will return a very sweet ‘innocent,’ “What’s the matter?” look.
He turns and as I raise the broom to whack him again, he grabs it and the match is on!!!!! Of course, he’s ten times stronger than me and it doesn’t take him long to take the broom from me and pull me into his arms.
The point is, no arguments, no bad moods or attitudes, and the day rolls merrily along just because I made the choice to be thankful for a man who works hard to keep our yard looking nice.
Joy was produced from thanksgiving.
It’s all about making the right choice….
“Her husband praises her: ‘There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!’ ”
Proverbs 31:28b-29, NLT
Choosing smiles,
Deb
I’d love to have you drop by and say hi over at my place!!!!
Great reminder! Thank you so much!
Hi Heather!!
Thanks so much for your smiles!!
(Checked out your blog…I’m an Alabama girl too!!)
Have a wonderful day!
Deb
A great reminder to not create strife within our homes!
I would like to present a third option…asking gently if our husbands would please
A)dust off before entering the house
B)pick up his dirty laundry so that you can get all his things clean
C) rinse out or wipe up sink after he is done shaving
Or whatever it may be!
I think if we request these things with an attitude of meekness instead of getting feisty they will be willing to comply. I know this to work in my home. Plus when Dad picks up after himself and attempts to help keep our home clean it sets a good example for our children, especially our boys!
Hi Jenn!!
Thanks so much for your wonderful suggestion to approach our husbands with tenderness and gentleness. A soft word can accomplish so much!
Have a blessed day!
Deb
It’s good to be reminded how powerful our attitudes can be. 1 Peter 3 comes to mind. If we have a husband who is not walking with the Lord, we can win him by our conversation [way of living] alone.
1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Nagging would be the exact opposite of what is listed above. Treat your husband as if he were Jesus Himself – he may not always ‘deserve’ this kind of treatment, but that does not matter. It is up to you to obey the Bible regardless of whether he is or not.
Lord bless you as you follow Him.
In Christ,
Joanne in MO
..and all I say is Amen and amen!!!
Have a blessed day!
Deb
What a breath of fresh air! You have been such a blessing to me today, through this post. How often I am that complaining woman, more concerned about “how hard I work around here” than having a joyful, God honoring tone in our home. It’s so true that we the wives and mothers set the tone, how easy to make the choice to be joyful and thankful if we would simply obey the command to walk in the Spirit putting aside the flesh.
The phrase at our house whenever someone is faced with the choice of a soft answer or going off the deep end is, “We have a choice to make”. I wish I could say I always make the right choice, but through Christ, I’m getting better everyday!
)
Have a wonderful day!
Deb
I came on here purposely looking for somw words of wisdom. I have found them. I will choose to build up my home rather than tear it down with my own hands. Plus I can always go to my daddy (in heaven), when all else fails.