While reading the book, The Love Dare, Day 6: Love is not Irritable, really hit me! The authors ask the probing question, “How often do you get irritated or offended?” Hmmmm… I HAVE to count the “PMS” days? And, if I am tempted to think, “Well, that’s just not me!”, the authors continue probing. Listen to THIS excerpt!
When under pr
essure, love doesn’t turn sour. Minor problems don’t yield major reactions. The truth is, love does not get angry or hurt unless there is a legitimate and just reason in the sight of God. (Hmmmm…this probably doesn’t mean when my hubby simply makes a mistake…..or when he isn’t doing it MY way) A loving wife is not overly sensitive or cranky but exercises emotional self-control. She chooses to be a flower among the thorns and respond pleasantly during prickly situations. If you are under the influence of love, you will be a joy, not a jerk. Ask yourself, ‘Am I a calming breeze, or a storm waiting to happen?’…..When you are irritable, the heart of the problem is primarily a problem of the heart. Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34 NKJV). Some people are like lemons: when life squeezes them, they pour out a sour response. Some are more like peaches: when the pressure is on, the result is still sweet. – from Chapter 6 in “The Love Dare.”
Oh, I want to be a peach! But, how often do I find myself a LEMON?????
Do I give grace to my husband (and children) to make mistakes? Or, am I easily offended? Am I making everything about ME, ME, ME?? When life is “irritating,” when things aren’t going my way (when someone pulls out in front of me in traffic, when someone cuts in front of me in line at Target, when hubby leaves his dirty laundry on the floor (AGAIN), am I irritable- negative, complaining, and sour? Or, am I forgiving, patient, gentle, and humble?
Or, am I looking to myself….being very self-focused? Is my irritability a source of pride- focusing on MY feelings, MY circumstances? Am I having a “pity-party,” wallowing in my “poor me” attitude?
“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV
Patient when my husband isn’t answering fast enough.
Patient when my husband makes a mistake.
Patient when I am waiting for a decision.
Love is not proud. Love isn’t conceited or self-focused.
Love isn’t self-seeking, does not insist on its own rights or its own way (AMP).
Even when my husband isn’t “doing something right” (or the way I want it done!).
Like tucking in the kids.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love doesn’t remind my husband of mistakes he has made.
Love lets it go.
Love gives grace to be the man God has created him to be.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12-14
Father God, help me to not be so self-focused. Help me to have “an attitude of gratitude”, a spirit of thankfulness for all You are and all You have given to me. I don’t want to have a complaining, critical spirit that is easily irritated. Help me to keep my focus on YOU, and not on me. Help me to be gentle, humble, patient, and forgiving when people and circumstances “irritate” me. Lord, You tell me that out of my heart, my mouth speaks…so I ask You, Lord- get my heart right! Purify me, Lord. Create in me a clean heart. Thank You, Lord! You are so awesome…so beautiful…so loving. I love You, Lord. In Jesus’ precious Name I pray. Amen.
When I read this portion of Love Dare, I had to blog about it too. It really hit home. I so want to be a peach, but yesterday when my son grew very argumentive I was a sour old lemon. Today is a new day and I am asking God’s help to be sweet and pleasant!
Hi –
I want to say how difficult this post was for me to read. Knowingly, my part to play here, but, life comes at your FAST and in the “testing” moments I find it so difficult to be a sweet peach, you know? I feel like I’m losing myself if I don’t protest at times. Dear God, I need His heart for the ones in my life who are the closest, b/c surely as the shine rises, I can’t do this alone!
Thank you for another good word with real life examples… This is my desire–to have such a taste and fragrance about me.
Ouch!! You sure no how to put the squeeze on.
No seriously. This is good. And not just for marriage relationships (though I KNOW far too often I am much more lemony then peachy).
I just find it ironic that today/this afternoon…I’ve recieved a phone call that really rattled my cage. Now, I have a decision to make in my response. This post has been helpful.
I totally see it as God’s kindness.