Our family is a quite often asked how we handle words such as “harlot” or “prostitute” or “sodomite” when reading the Bible in our nightly family worship. This seems to be a common concern among parents, like ourselves, who seek to shelter their children, while also placing a high value on instructing them in spiritual matters. It’s undertandable, because many of us have worked very hard to protect our children from knowing too much, too soon. However, when it comes to God’s Word, our outlook should be a bit different. We should view His Word as an instruction manual, designed for the young, the old and meant for every age in time.
“There was not a word of all that Moses had commanded which Joshua did not read before all the assembly of Israel with the women and the little ones and the strangers who were living among them. ” Joshua 8:35
Our family attends a family integrated church, where the pastor preaches the Word of God to all ages. No one is excluded from the service. No parts of the Bible are omitted, and we follow the same principles at home, during family worship. In Joshua 8 we read that the “Book of the Law” (the copy of the Scriptures at that time) was read to ALL the people….old, young, children, and even nursing infants. I don’t see how we can seek to imitate the Bible and leave out anything. Let’s look at bit closer at the instruction and warnings of the passage below in regard to instructing your children and bathing them in the Word of God.
“Listen, O my people, to my instruction; Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not conceal them from their children, but tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob And appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children, that they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments, and not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation that did not prepare its heart and whose spirit was not faithful to God” (Psalm 78:1-8, emphasis added).
Lest any of you go into panic mode upon reading this, rest assured that there is a delicate way of addressing the questions asked about the meanings of these seemingly uncomfortable topics. Our family does not explain the meaning of these terms unless we are asked for those meanings from our children. In family worship they will raise their hands and wait to ask their questions until called upon. During church service, if they are young, they will lean over and ask questions, and if they are older they will write down their questions to discuss with us later that day.
Depending upon how old the children present are, we explain on the age level of the youngest child’s understanding and explain it further to an older child at another time when he or she is alone with us. For instance, if you have younger children in the room and a child questions the meaning of the word “harlot,” you could explain that the word harlot is a person who kisses men who are not her husband. If the only children present are all older, you could explain that a harlot is someone who sells s-x for money. Your answer at any given time is honest, but can be “sugar-coated” according to the ages present when the question is asked. When a child is old enough we would bring the subject up again when the child ages and gains more understanding of sin.
When learning how to deal with those touchy words in the Bible, always remember that Joshua read the entire Book of the Law to the Israelites–young and old. That should be an example of how we should lead our children! We can lead them in truth and explain the meaning according to the ages present. It is important that we not skip the meaning and intent of a passage of Scripture just because we are fearful of what might happen. God wrote or inspired the words you are reading, and He knows just what your child and you should learn from the Words of instruction that He felt important for His children to read and study. Do not pass up the opportunity to educate your children in Biblical truths, but instead learn to balance telling the truth without giving too many details. It is a delicate balance, but it is important to address spiritual truths and the consequences of sin when the doors to such things are opened.
Blessings as you instruct godly children in the light of God’s Holy Word!
Lisa,
We have never given body parts “cute names”, and as you, explained anything when asked, on their level. I believe children who live on farms or in the country are introduced to reproduction at a much earlier age. My parents always told us that if we had any question, ask them. They would give us the correct answer. If we don’t provide correct answers for our children, they will seek the answers from friends or other literature. Great post, today! God’s blessings!
I think you are absolutely right. God gave us our children to instruct in all things, even if it makes us a bit uncomfortable at times. But I would much rather have them talk to me than someone else who may or may not give them a Godly explanation.
I enjoyed reading this post. We definitely believe in reading the whole Bible through with our children. We see plenty of Scriptural basis for making sure our children are hearing the Word of God, but we see nothing suggesting that God’s Word needs editing for anyone, or portions of it avoided. Quite the opposite as you discussed.
Our children are now ages 9, 7, 5, 3 1/2, almost 2, and baby. For the last five years, in our evening devotions as family, my husband has alternated between reading from the New Testament one night, and the Old Testament the next, straight through each. As a family, we have been all the way through the Old Testament once and the New Testament several times. Yes, they need explanations as we go along reading through God’s Word, but that is what I want to be exposing them to from a very early age. Difficult words we explain as we go, and we stop every couple verses to explain, ask questions.
Now obviously the explanations are age-appropriate. For example, our children know of marital intimacy as a man and a woman who are married laying naked together, and that this is God’s plan and how He brings about children. They know it’s wrong to lay naked with someone you’re not married to, that for a man and a man or a woman and a woman to lay naked together is sin, etc.
It’s the Word of God that is powerful and quick and sharper than any two-edged sword. We want to make sure that our children are hearing those God-inspired words very regularly. Even the best story Bible is incomplete, a paraphrasing and condensing of God’s Word. I can see it having potential value as a *supplement* to, but not a replacement for regularly reading from a reliable translation of God’s Word in its entirety.
Excellent article. Well done, Lisa!
Truly, if godly parents do not teach children about difficult issues from a godly/biblical perspective, then children will hear bits and pieces from elsewhere. This can be damaging to their right understanding of some very important issues! Again, well done.
i agree, we don’t leave out the ‘hard parts’ of the bible during evening devotions, however we do answer questions according to age. sometimes the answer has been as simple as “that is when a woman kisses a man she is not married to” when talking about sexual purity. age should always be a consideration, but since hubby is a teaching elder he is pretty strict on not adding or subtracting from the Word of God.
great post! I’m an advocate of reading the Bible “as is” to children…my own included. We tended to read from a children’s Bible when they were little…..around age 7 I started explaining the “Facts of life” (homosexuality, prostitutes, teen pregnancy, etc) because in our school district we begin health very early and some of the health curriculum, altho an abstinence only one, still introduced topics that I wanted to be the first to introduce my children to! So…it was only natural that when it came to those words in the Bible that I just explain exactly what they meant, on their level. Your explanation for harlot is very similar to the definition I used for my young daughters! We should not be adding to, nor taking away from,he Scriptures….thanks for a great post!
Excellent reminder; exactly what we did in raising our 2 children. Don’t explain until they ask, and then give an age-appropriate answer
Sometimes we would get a giggle from the younger child when we read a word such as “ass” or “hell” but as they became accustomed to hearing it in God’s word, and we reinforced that people make words bad in the way they use them, not God, there was no reaction as they matured.
blessings,
Janice
I am now raising my 3 grandchildren, I find this easier with them than my own child. We don’t fudge on the words God uses, and explainations are age appropriate. I think our church culture has watered down God’s words to much already, we (they) need the truth from God, not a man’s interpretation of it.