I thought I had leaving and cleaving down pat (Genesis 2:24). After all, I love my husband, my children, and my job as a stay at home wife and mom. I didn’t feel as if I needed my parent’s approval on every day decisions. My husband was the head of our home and I loved fulfilling his wishes and desires for our family.
I should have recognized the heart of pride that was beginning to creep into my heart. Oh I knew there were other wifely areas I could improve on. But leaving and cleaving…mission accomplished.
One Sunday morning, our pastor’s wife was talking about leaving and cleaving during the women’s Sunday School class. I didn’t pay too much attention, until she began talking about being careful what we, as wives, share and talk about with our moms.
Now I knew that I hadn’t shared anything inappropriate with my mom. I hadn’t shared anything personal about my husband with her. I strive to only say positive and encouraging things about my husband to others. But as I sat there listening I realized that I hadn’t completely left my mom to cleave to my husband…at least not in my husband’s eyes.
I knew without even asking him that he felt I turned to my mom too frequently. In my eyes, it was harmless. In fact, my mom is a great source of wisdom, encouragement and a godly role model. In my husband’s eyes, I was talking with her when I should have been talking with him. I shared small details of our lives that my husband would have preferred to keep just in our family.
And in those moments, sitting there in Sunday School I knew I needed to talk with my husband, ask his forgiveness and make some changes. I needed to leave and cleave so that my husband would know without a shadow of a doubt that he is the most important person in my life. There is no competition with anyone else. I didn’t want him to just know, I wanted him to see by my actions that he was my best friend, sole confidant, and source of encouragement.
And so I asked him…”What can I do to show you that you are the most important person in my life?”
His response…”I don’t know; I’ll have to think about it.” 
This was not a very helpful response, but I was determined to not let that stop me. I do know he would like for the two of us to just spend more time talking together…so I’m going to make that a priority. I know that he is a more private person than I am…so I’m going to not share personal details about him with others, even when I think it’s no big deal. I want my husband to “safely trust me” (Proverbs 31:11) with his personal life. I don’t want him to ever fear (not even for one second) that I will tell someone something he wishes to be kept between the two of us.
Leaving and cleaving…two very innocent words. It seems so easy. And yet, I challenge you, this week, to examine your life. Have you left your family (or friends or hobbies or…) and cleaved to your husband? More importantly, does your husband trust that you’ve left your old life behind and given him everything?
This doesn’t necessarily mean you can never talk with family or friends or participate in something that you enjoyed before you were married. (My mom is still a great source of encouragement. I love just hanging out with her. There are just some topics of conversation that will remain between my husband and me.) The question is: Is there someone or something in your life that comes between you and your husband?
So tonight, when your husband gets home from work, ask him “What can I do to show you that you are the most important person in my life?”
Whatever he says, make those things a priority. And if he doesn’t know, start doing what you know would mean a great deal to him.
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