I don’t always agree with my husband. But every issue where there is a difference becomes an opportunity for me to explore what I believe and why. I also have to face my own motivations and desires, and sometimes I don’t like the things that come to light. But it helps me grow.
I don’t always “feel” close to my husband. But feeling distanced occasionally helps to remind me that my feelings are fickle and that how I respond is a choice, not a given. It also helps me to appreciate the times of closeness when we come full-circle.
I don’t always want to be close to my husband! It is sometimes uncomfortable to have someone know so much about you, and it can make you wonder how they could love you anyway. Occasionally, I wish I could just make myself look good to the man who lives with me day in and day out and knows all the ways in which I’ve failed. Repeatedly.
I am not always thankful for my husband. Sometimes I focus on the things I’d like to change about him. I think about the negative things other people have said about him. What I magnify becomes larger – so if I focus with tunnel-vision on the “bad,” those things become more obvious. It reminds me that contentment, thankfulness, and praise are things that I must actively choose.
As married couples, we go through good times and bad; we draw near to each other and become distanced once in a while. Yet, throughout the seasons of life, we learn new things about ourselves and we grow in Christ-likeness as we purpose to glorify Him in the mystery of marriage.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32)
What have you learned about God…what has changed about your relationship with Him…or how have you grown spiritually because of your marriage?
This is a great post, Cindy. I think a lot of wives will see themselves in this post, and it reminds us that even when we might not be quite “in line” with where we ought to be as wives, it’s an opportunity to learn something about our spouse, our God, and ourselves.
It’s like I just mentioned in a comment to someone else’s post this morning.
It’s easy to point the finger at our spouse (husband) – not feeling loved “enough”…only to realize that there are how many fingers pointing back at us? Are we “love-worthy”, first??
I was really convicted of your post this morning (too!) as of the one I just alluded to. And, in summery, would have to say that “I’m growing as I go”.
Interesting how closely this ties in with the portion of Deuteronomy I was exploring this morning. Moses was reminding the Isrealites. They were receiving the promise land becaues of the GOODNESS & MERCY of God; not because they were a worthy people. . . My love needs to be based on God’s GOODNESS AND MERCY, not mine or my husbands ability or worthiness. (esp. . .since I was guilty of ‘not wanting to love’ & felt so guilty when he sweetly came over, hugged & kissed be before leaving {not a common happening him})
Awesome! Thank you for the reminder!
The changes, Cindy, I have seen in me since I have been married have been scary while on the verge of making them, sometimes fearful even to take that step, and life-changing, even life-saving as I became more like Christ by making changes. I came to know Jesus as my LORD and Savior because of the witness of my then fiance. I learned with much struggle to surrender, to submit, both of which changed me for God’s good and for the beauty of our marriage. I have become such a student of God’s and absolutely love delving into His Word. My precious husband and I dance in such sweet harmony, in tune with one another. Love only grows as we age together. We are 62. I pray the LORD gives us many more years together on this earth.
As a prayer partner with the ministries of “At the Well”, I pray for the wisdom to flow through you and the others who teach on “To Have and To Hold”. I ask our LORD to guide you as you prepare to write. May He hold you and your husband in closeness, teaching you all He desires as you two walk together in your marriage. In the Strong Name of Jesus, Amen.
Thank you for this reminder. Lately I have been guilty of seeing my husband and even my family as a burden rather than a blessing. I am so glad that God lead me to your website tonight.