Today, I am going to be very transparent. And, to be honest, I am terrified to put myself out there, out in the open. But, I’m going to go ahead and do it…
Have you heard the song “In Christ Alone?” It is a powerful song. You can click on the link and read the whole song, but today I wanted to share with you the first part of it,
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
every day, every hour, every situation?
Now, here comes my transparency, I am not just pointing my finger at you and asking this question. I am asking because I know this is something that I am struggling with greatly right now. I so much desire to be like Paul in Philippians 4:11-13 when he says,
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
I am not there. I want to be there, I’m just not yet. To be able to say, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content,” that would be wonderful. I want to be content. I desire to be content. But yet, I find myself struggling, struggling with desires for more.
For me, it is mostly a desire for a family, for children to raise and take care of. You see, I cannot conceive. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost four years. We have also been in the adoption process for about 8 months. Nothing seems to be happening in either arena and I am getting frustrated and disappointed. And I am finding myself discontent with my circumstances.
The desire might be different for you. You might desire a bigger house, or a better job for your husband, or to be able to stay at home and raise your children, or to go to the mission field, or to keep your house clean, or to have a stronger marriage. I’m not sure what you are struggling with, or if you are at all.
But, I am pretty sure that most of us struggle with some sort of discontent. So, I wanted to share that you are not alone! I am here, with you. But, I hope that you also want to be where Paul is, and what this song if talking about. We need to learn to be satisfied IN CHRIST ALONE.
What if God never gives me children? What if you never get a bigger house? What if you are never able to stay at home and raise your children? What if your husband never gets a better job? Will God still be the same? Will He still be a great and mighty God? Will you still trust in His plans for your life? Will I?
I hope that we can answer yes to those questions. And I truly hope that we can learn to be more like Paul, to be satisfied in Christ alone! We will never be perfect, this side of Heaven, but we can always strive to pick up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23)!
Share with us about how you are satisfied in Christ alone.
You can find Ashley regularly at her personal blog, Putting God First Place.
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Merry Christmas and GOD BLESS!
My husband & I raised two beautiful daughters (had trouble with pregnancies/miscarriages, but did have two girls) and I had a prayer on my heart: "Lord, are there any other children that you have out there for us? Let us know." And long story short- we found out about a baby boy in the foster care system who needed a family. We went through the tedious process of becoming licensed only to have that dear baby go to a relative for placement. "Now what Lord?" we asked. Well, 2 days after being licensed, we got a call for a newborn baby boy and at the ages of 48 & 50, we became parents for the 3rd time. There are many parts of our son's story that show God's hand, but This is enough for what is suppose to be a short "comment!" I hope this was encouraging to you! As you've sharee, God knows exactly what/who your family is to look like! My heart is with you.
DyslexicDifferentThinkingDea.blogspot.com
I haven't posted yet on this topic, but I didn't want to wait for that to encourage you that you are not alone, and to tell you that I really appreciate your being transparent. Your thoughts on having a family reminded me (and suggested a post for me) of the time when I wanted more children–I have two–but my husband had decided that we should not have any more. It was a time of deep grieving for me, and everywhere there were excited women announcing their pregnancies, and little babies. I could barely stand it. God does not promise us a life free from inward pain or that our longings will all be fulfilled. But He promises to be there. The truth that I learn in every new phase of life with its accompanying longings, is that God is there, and He is enough. I pray that you will find Him enough in this time and for this longing. Do not give up hope.
Wendy
Thanks for being transparent! I've been struggling lately with that house… My husband's best friend and his wife have bought another house, and I can't help feeling a little discontent with our current home… we don't have enough storage space, we're not saving for a down payment as much as I would like… you get the drill. God's having to show me that whether or not we buy a house of our own, the important thing is that we have a place now, with a roof over our heads, a freezer full of food, and a place to curl up and lay our heads at night (usually with two cute little kitty cats). God has been faithful. If we get a house next year, that's fine; if we don't get one for five years, that's fine too. Thanks for the reminder to be content.
PIP
We have been there with the infertility. My advice to you is that unless the Lord specifically tells you to give up, DON'T GIVE UP, either with conceiving or with the adoption as the Lord leads. If you end up with no children, at least you won't have to kick yourself for not trying (I'm a pragmatist). We eventually ended up having 2 of our own biological children. Hope it works out for you. Hope somebody you know feels called alongside to pray for you. We have always had people like that.
Ashley, I just wanted to encourage you with your struggle for a baby. My husband and I tried for 6 yrs and we had just about decided it wasn't going to happen for us…when surprise I'm pregnant. I stared at the test, for what seemed like forever, sure I had read it wrong! And now we have a wonderful 9 month old. God may not give you a child, but he might just be saying not yet…God's timing is perfect. Your not alone in the pain and desire for a child. I always thought of Hannah. I'll be praying for you and your family.
The heart of a woman yearns for children. I am praying for you. I have been there. It's not easy to be transparent, either, and I'm glad that you were brave to be so. I have been a little more transparent in my post today than I'm comfortable with, also, but I pray the Lord is glorified. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Wendy
I'm right there with you! I have been wanting another baby and so far God is saying not yet. I keep thinking, but you say children are a blessing and we want more. Then I have to remind myself that His will is perfect and if I really believe He will work all things for good for me then I will be content in what He says is good for me. It's an inward struggle, but it encourages me that it didn't come naturally for Paul either. He had to learn it and so do I! Thanks for the post!
Thank you all for the encouragement! We all have struggles in this world, but God has promised He would never leave us, and that is what we can rest assured in!
You ladies are great and I wish you all a Merry Christmas filled with the joy that only Christ can bring!
-Ashley
Thank you for sharing. You are right we all have struggles and sometimes I think we need reminding that others have them too. Have a Merry Christmas!
I struggle with discontentment with several things, but mostly wanting to be able to give my children more and have more of what I consider basic things, like being able to get my children new a few pairs of nice shoes instead of just one, but I still know that I am blessed beyond measure even if my children run barefoot!
By the way I was thinking of the other
'In Christ Alone' =)
http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/brian_littrell_lyrics_8632/other_lyrics_28575/in_christ_alone_lyrics_312202.html