I Choose Love

“There’s no way I’m ever going to write about that!”

Those were my exact thoughts when I first looked through the writing topics for At The Well.  My eyes had fallen on the heading of “To Have and To Hold.”  For those who chose to write in this category, the focus would be on marriage, Biblical submission, practical advice; in essence, loving our husbands. I had made up my mind that I would never be able to provide wisdom on the subject of marriage, let alone anything practical or remotely competent. So, I chose to contribute to a subject a bit more in my comfort zone.  Writing on marriage would have to be somebody else’s project!

Fast forward several months, the new writing schedule had been posted.  I quickly scanned through the calendar to find my name.  I spotted it, grabbed my pen and wrote the date on my calendar.  Just as I was scribbling down the information, my eyes darted back to the computer screen.  Never say never!  There it was as bold as you please, somehow (God certainly works in mysterious ways!) I had been scheduled to write for “To Have and To Hold.”

“UM, Lord, are you sure? What am I going to say? How am I going to impart any sort of wisdom to these ladies?”

I was stumped.  I was without a topic.  I was starting to panic. I really wanted to send off an e-mail to let someone know that I wasn’t qualified. But, before I broke out in a cold-sweat I decided I really should pray and ask the Lord to fill me with His wisdom,  specifically in the realm of marriage.  I needed Him to enlighten me. I needed a topic for my newest writing assignment that would help other ladies to grow in their relationships with their husbands.

After several days of prayer, He brought a topic to my mind. I wasn’t positive it was the perfect direction for my article.

But, He was.

God wanted me to share with each of you that I have been guilty of neglecting my husband.

For the past thirteen years I have poured my energies, time, and love into my children. Often, I have placed my husbands needs behind those of my children. And honestly, at times, behind what I saw as my own needs.

I knew that what I was doing was not God’s plan, but part of me didn’t care and the other part was too tired to do anything about it. My children required so much, and I gave and gave and gave.

There were times when I put my marriage on a shelf and left it there.  I willingly put on the lackadaisical attitude of “whatever.” Our marriage has gone through some dry spells where I haven’t given my husband deep companionship. I have refused to strive for a unity of our souls. I have refused to be of one flesh. I have taken him for granted. I haven’t made him my first priority next to God. I have loved him, but not with a truly selfless love.

I allowed myself to get caught up in the romantic idea that love should be easy, flowing, amazing and well, romantic! When I didn’t receive love from him in a sweep me off my feet manner, I buried my hurts and poured my love and attention into our children. But, love isn’t just about the spark of electricity, the fluttering of the heart, the intense attraction.  It’s more about a choice.  Choosing to love through the tough times. Choosing to love when exhaustion is wearing me down.  Choosing to love when I’m irritated.  Choosing to love even if I feel like he isn’t loving me the way I think he should. Choosing to love my husband more than anyone on this earth, even my children.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures every circumstance.

There are three things that will endure, faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.

I Corinthians 3:4-7 & 13

Love is tough.  It doesn’t always come naturally. But, it is key to a strong, united, never-ending, amazingly wonderful marriage. We must choose to love our husbands selflessly. To put them first on our list.  To make them the number one priority of all our earthly relationships.

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians  3:14

When we clothe ourselves in love, we envelope ourselves with it.  Love is what we become. It binds our relationships in harmony.  If our marriages are unified, nothing will separate us from one another. The only way for us to produce this strong bond is through love. Selfless, giving, Godly, unfettered love.

I crave a deep, lasting relationship with my husband. I want to truly know him. I desire to create a bond with him that nothing can sever. I want our souls to be connected in the deepest of ways. I want him to know that he is loved deeply and endlessly by me.

I choose love!

About The Author

Jenn has written 33 articles on this blog.

Jenn is a country girl living the country life with her husband and four children. Her deepest desire is to grow more in love with the Lord each and every day. She yearns to shine with Christ's love for all to see and make a difference in those around her by sharing her heart. Visit Jenn at her blog, A Country Girl's Ramblings.

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