Have a Blind Respect for Your Spouse

Today we are happy to welcome Leigh Ann Napier, The Happy Marriage Coach, to At the Well.

“Don’t worry; I’ve got your back!” Doesn’t it feel great to hear that? Wouldn’t it feel wonderful to know that your friends and family always have your back? That they are looking out for you, protecting you, preserving your reputation and nipping any gossip about you in the bud? This is hopefully true for you. I hope that you can trust your friends and family to always believe the best about you and not say things behind your back that they would not feel comfortable saying while you were in the room with them.

Have you heard the expression, “I can talk about my sister, but you better not!”? Well, I think it is on the right track, but still flawed. It means I can say things about my sister when she aggravates me, but if you talk badly about her, I will defend her, so watch out. Well, no one should be talking badly about this girl in the first place, but there is a defensiveness we have in regards to our family. This defensiveness should be at its peak when concerning our spouse.

Many companies have what I refer to as a “Complain Up” policy. This means that they do not allow gossip to run loose in their organization. If you work for Dave Ramsey, for example, you would actually be fired for it. He just will not tolerate it. His belief, in a nutshell, is that if you have a complaint against someone, then you should address it with that person or with management. In other words, do not talk badly about the person or situation with someone who has no power or authority to bring about resolution. Brilliant.

Isn’t that a great policy to have for your life? If you are upset with someone, especially your spouse, do not call your girlfriends or even your well-meaning mother. Talk to your husband, a counselor, or pray about the situation. When you find yourself upset, or angry, or feeling misunderstood, go to the throne instead of the phone (unknown). Make this a policy in your marriage. Whatever you do, refuse to allow yourself to slander your spouse. If you do, you are talking badly of yourself (remember the One Flesh?) and you are dividing yourselves…with witnesses.

Be able to rest in confidence that your spouse will talk to you if he has an issue, not to his buddies. Allow him the security that you are speaking well of him and that he can trust you with his heart. There is no room in marriage for doubting if your spouse really has your back. It should be a given.

Whether it comes to financial decisions or parenting decisions or whatever the topic may be, choose to have a “blind respect” for each other. Even if you do not know why he said or did something, always give him your support. Always offer him the benefit of the doubt in front of others. He deserves your respect. This is especially important when it comes to parenting children. If your children see any wiggle room in your parenting decisions, they will play into it every time. Instead, if they know that what Mom says, Dad supports and what Dad says, Mom supports then you are both in for a much more enjoyable parenting experience.

A question to ask your spouse often, to keep your marriage wall strong, is surprisingly simple, “What can I do for you?” I know it can be a scary question to ask some times. The enemy will all but convince you that you do not have time to stop what you are doing to help your husband. Do not listen to that nonsense. You will find that the things your husband wants help with are not huge daunting tasks. I know Mike’s requests are usually to return something to somewhere or someone, make a phone call, or his favorite and most asked…rub his feet. I am pretty sure that if I would just rub his feet each night, he would believe I was the best wife on the planet. OK, maybe I would need to rub more than his feet… But still, do not be afraid to ask your spouse that magic question, “What can I do for you?” Expect God to give you all you need to follow through and believe in faith that your marriage will be blessed as a result.

Need more happy in your marriage? You can begin learning the 7 areas where lasting, happy couples get it right in marriage by downloading a free sample from Leigh Ann’s book, “Happy Marriage: A Christian Gal’s Guide to a Happy, Life Long Marriage.” Visit http://tinyurl.com/HappyMarriageSample to begin building a strong foundation for your own happy marriage today!

Blessings,

Leigh Ann Napier
The Happy Marriage Coach
http://leighannnapier.com/

Leigh Ann has been married to her hottie hubbie Mike for almost 6 years now, and they have a 3 year old daughter. She adores the never-a-dull moment and not-sure-what-will-happen-next schedule. She is doing what she feels she was created to do and loves every minute of it. Her main mission is to bring glory to God with all that she does and to help make the world a better place, one happy marriage (and family) at a time.

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