Going Ape

Words are powerful weapons. They can be both destructive and constructive. Ideally, we would use them only constructively, but with our human nature, the ideal isn’t always true. Keeping a tight rein on our tongues is necessary.

“So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!” ~James 3:5 NAS

I’ve always thought of that verse in the negative light and only seen the destruction a loose tongue can cause, but after a little studying, I see the positive side of it in a marriage. We love sparks in our marriage and we love the times when our marriage is blazing hot—so why don’t we put our tongues to good work by putting some spark in our marriage?

How can we do that? By using our tongues wisely, just as James and Proverbs admonishes us to do over and over again. No matter how many years we’ve been married, our husbands love knowing they’re our knights in shining armor and it’s a wise woman who shines her husband’s armor. It’s a gift she gives him.

So how do you shine his armor? One way is to go ape over him.
Appreciate.
Want to see your man strut? Let him know with your words and actions that he’s your hero and that you love and appreciate him for it. Search for things you truly appreciate about your man, and then tell him about it.

“There’s no doubt about it: Appreciation in any form at any time brightens anyone’s existence, however drab it my be. And like a beam of sunlight striking a mirror, the brightness is reflected right back to you.”

Secrets of Staying in Love by Ruth Stafford Peale, Chapter 10.

Praise.
Praising our men makes them walk taller at the end of an exhausting day and gives them confidence in themselves and in our marriages. I’m talking about sincere praise, not empty flattery. Just like a woman, a man takes great joy in a job well done. So many of us are very careful to praise our children and build them up, but in the rush of life, we often overlook and forget to praise our husbands. When we do that, we’re leaving the door cracked open for others to fill that need for them. We want to be the ones they look to for both appreciation and praise. If we’re not, it’s easy for them to turn to their jobs or even to other people to fill that need to be appreciated.

Encourage.
Encouraging your husband is not babying him. Most men don’t want to be babied and most don’t want another mother. They want a wife and partner that understands and supports them through thick and thin. Learn what encourages your husband. It’s an investment in him that is richly rewarded.

Does your marriage need a spark? You can create one and then fan it into a blaze with your tongue by going APE over your special man—the husband God gave you.