Whew! Do you think God gets as EXHAUSTED at times with HIS children, as I do with MINE?
Discipline can be HARD WORK!
Just when you think you have it all “figured out” and under control, things running smoothly, you hit teenage years!
Our oldest is 14, and we thought DISCIPLINE would be “smooth sailing” from here out. We made it through those “terrible twos” and early years when kids are testing the waters, checking YOUR limits, and learning obedience. He is a great kid and very mature. He is even the leader of our five children and teaches THEM about obedience and how important it is to listen to Mom and Dad. But recently, he has chosen to disobey us, sometimes by arguing or complaining when we’ve told him to do something, or by CHOOSING not to comply.
So WHAT is this “new” thing we are experiencing in our family?
Could it be that he now thinks he is old enough to decide which commands are “worthy” of compliance?
Could it be that he doesn’t like what we are asking him to do?
Could it be that he doesn’t trust our judgment on an issue….that he knows “better”?
As I have been dealing with my son’s obedience, it has really opened my eyes to MY own obedience/disobedience with God! Are there times when I too may think I know better than God about an issue? Are there times I just flat out don’t like what God is telling me to do (or not do) and choose MY own way?
As I discipline my own teenager, I see how life goes so much more smoothly when he obeys. It reminds me that life will go much more smoothly for me when I trust God and obey what He tells me.
Through parenting, I can see “real life” applications of spiritual obedience: partial obedience is disobedience. Otherwise, just like choosing which commands to obey, my son (and me with God) is choosing which parts he thinks are important or worthy.
While we are open to his questions, we are not going to argue about our decisions. Sometimes our son needs to know the “why” about certain decisions, so we reason and explain to him. God says to Isaiah, “Come let us reason together.” There are times when our son tries to convince us of his logic. After seeing his point of view, we may modify our decision, but we, as parents, are the ultimate authority.
To Job, God says, “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” In other words, God asks Job, “Who are YOU to correct God almighty?” God is Creator- He is the ultimate authority. Although we are not God, we are our children’s authority here. There are time we just “know better” and it’s “so” because “we say so.” This again has been a great reminder for me when thinking about my own obedience. There are times God says, “Tracy, let us reason this together,” and there are times God says, “Because I am God and I know better than you, Tracy!”
There is no question that discipline can be hard work and at times exhausting. But, as parents, even if it is easier to “look the other way,” we have to take the time and energy to correct and teach our children. We can look around and see the products of a generation of children whose parents are not taking the time/energy to do it.
We recently were in a restaurant when the waitress complimented us on the good behavior and manners of our five children. She then shared how she had waited on a table the day before where the child SWORE at her while his parents ignored him. Wow! Bad behavior can snowball to the extent that kids are downright OFFENSIVE to others! May our children be a light shining in this dark place.
“My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those He loves, as a father the son He delights in.” Proverbs 3:11-12
Lord, thank You that You are constantly teaching me and refining me. Give me a soft, pliable heart that bends to Your command, that desires to do Your will. I don’t want to be stubborn or prideful…thinking that I know better than You. Lord, my heart desires to do Your will. I want to trust You completely, trusting in Your decisions for me. Lord, help me as a parent to teach and discipline my children correctly. I don’t want to “exasperate” them as it says in Ephesians. I want them to grow in obedience, and as they practice submission to my authority, they learn submission to You.
Give me the right words to use. Make my decisions YOUR decisions. Help me, Lord, as a parent! And, Lord, I pray my children will have soft, pliable hearts. Give them obedient hearts desiring to do our will and YOUR will. Lead them on the right paths, God. Lord, I pray that whenever they do disobey, “there sin would be found out.” I pray that You would bring every wrong choice into Your Light for correction. Thank You, Lord, for my sweet, beautiful children. They are a gift and a blessing.
In Jesus’ Name we pray. Amen.
Because Titus 2 is all about older women teaching younger women, I am encouraging “older women” who have already raised children to comment on disciplining children, sharing tips and strategies. Please share your wisdom with us!
GREAT article! I’m about 10 years off from those teenage years, but God has shown me the same thing. Disciplining my own children shows me I’m so alike the children of Israel… I used to wonder HOW in the world they could turn away so easily – and now I am afraid I KNOW how… God is teaching me as He helps me teach my children. And it IS hard work – and oh how patient He is with me…
My son is 19 now, and if there is anything I wish I’d done differently as I was raising him, to make RIGHT NOW a little easier, it’s this:
BE A PARENT. It’s so easy to want your children, especially when they’re 11-15 years old, to LIKE you and to try to be their friend. But kids need PARENTS. They need discipline. They need rules. Yes, it’s good if your kid likes you and thinks you’re cool, but in the long run it’ll be better if he hates you just a little bit because you had the nerve to be a parent and enforce the rules.
Thank you for sharing this today. My children are 11 and 14. I think of myself in the teenage years and how defiant and rebellious I was. I wished now and I have told my dad this that they would have punished me more than they did those years.
We are in the throws of teenage-hood. We have 16 and an almost 15 year old daughters and a son that’s soon to be 13.
14 was a really rough year with our oldest. She was forming her own (wrong) views of a LOT of things. Her judgment was off most of the time because she wasn’t allowing God to lead her.
Praise God she has learned from mistakes and is taking her relationship with God and us more seriously. She’s becoming a beautiful young woman.
My husband and I know that there is a continual battle in the spiritual realm for our families.
We cannot sit idly by and pretend that its not happening. We have to engage!!