Today we welcome Alicia from Confessions of a Snowflake to At the Well to answer the following question:
I have been dealing with depression, especially after having my last baby. How do I continue to be an effective wife and mother while dealing with my depression?
I want to applaud you, dear friend, for asking this difficult question. That’s the first and hardest part of dealing with depression: telling others. We often think we’re the only ones who struggle. But that’s just not true. When I first started stepping out and telling others, I was amazed by those who said, “I struggle too.”
When I was in the throes of my depression, I imagined myself clinging to the side of a cliff. It was a straight cliff with a long drop, and all I could do was hold on with the tips of my fingers. Afraid of the fall, I held as tightly as I could.
There were times I couldn’t read my Bible. There were times I couldn’t listen to Christian music. I could barely even pray. The darkness was encompassing. I couldn’t see any light. But I clung to that cliff. It was all I could do. I didn’t know it at the time but that cliff was Jesus.
Depression is a thief and a liar. It steals peace and joy from its victims. It lies and says there’s no reason to hope because life will never change. It tells us we’re alone and no one will ever understand.
But Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. We have to cling to Him when depression is feeding us lies and deception. He shows us the way when we see no hope. He gives us truth to battle the lies. He gives us new life when depression threatens to destroy us.
As much as we’re clinging to Jesus, He’s clinging to us even more. When God promised He would never leave us or forsake us in Hebrews 13:5, He meant it. He doesn’t abandon us in our deep, dark places. He comforts us there. Then He gently leads us along a path of healing, showing us His way one step at a time.
Healing is a process. It’s not always easy. It doesn’t always happen overnight. But if we will daily cling to the truth of God’s Word, we can still effectively serve our families while allowing Jesus’ healing power to work in us.
- When depression tells us we can’t get out of bed, we remember God’s compassion, which is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).
- When we don’t have the energy to accomplish the essentials, we tell ourselves, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
- When we don’t have the strength to go on, we rely on Christ’s power which is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
- When we want to crawl in a cave and hide in the darkness, we call on Jesus, who is the light of the world (John 8:12).
Jesus is the Way, but we are all very different and our life experiences are equally different. Therefore, our paths to healing are going to be different. For some, healing comes through intense prayer and time in the Word. Others need the help of a counselor to process difficult life experiences and emotions related to those. Still others need medical help to deal with chemical imbalances in their body.
Each path is different. The important part is that we allow Jesus to guide and direct us. He brings people into our lives that can listen to us and pray with us. He opens doors we never imagined. He reminds us of His love. He fills us with His Truth. Then He gently and lovingly gives us new Life.
I remember when He so vividly did that for me. I had a vision in church one Sunday morning of hanging on to that cliff. Then Jesus leaned over, gave me His hand, pulled me up over the top, and set my feet on solid ground. I no longer needed to cling to the Word so desperately; I could stand on the Word. I felt alive in a way that I had not experienced in a long time.
I pray the same for you my friend.
I pray you will be able to cling to Jesus during this difficult time. May you allow Jesus to show you The Way. May His Truth blot out the lies and the deceptions of depression. May He revive you and give new Life to your inmost being. And may He fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).
Being an accountant by trade, a homeschooling mom by passion, and a writer by calling, Alicia knows the truth of God’s grace in all situations. She desires to share His message of love and mercy through the use of traditional and social media. Currently, she can be found keeping it real on her blog, Confessions of a Snowflake.
I felt those same ways. Such an awful experience. I felt like I couldn’t find a glimpse of the LORD, but He was sustaining me just the same (Is. 46:4). A friend gave me a mug that helped me. It says, “I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining; I believe in love, even when I feel it not; I believe in God, even when He is silent.” That helped me so much! I had to keep saying, “My feelings are NOT the truth; God’s Word IS Truth.” Sharing with friends can really make a difference.
What a great post. I commend you. Everything you said is so true. I constantly deal with depression and I do my best to stay in the word with the Lord, as that’s where I find my comfort and my way. Thanks again for sharing.
Wonderful wisdom. God can deliver His children from depression. I am living proof!
Hi Alicia,
This was a really powerful post today. I am glad that I found the tweet about it. That you for being willing to be vulnerable. It takes a ton of courage to allow others to see those areas where you have struggled.
Blessings
Honey
I can’t tell you what this post means to me and the countless other women who know this battle and find hope where they relate to your words and strength where they rest in His truth.
Thank your for heeding His call, lending your voice, and eminding us where find our peace.
Ginger
Thank you so much for this encouraging post. I too have struggled with depression for many years and I so appreciate that you mentioned there are different paths to healing. I have been ridiculed by other believers for taking medication…one in particular (a family member) sought to “bring me to repentance” to heal me of my depression. It has been difficult for me but the Lord has showed me that medication is necessary for me during this stage of life. That way I am functioning well for my family and young children on a daily basis. That may not be the case for everyone. But it is ok. Thank you again. Many blessings to each of my sisters-in-Christ who struggle with the darkness of depression.
Being a Christian I struggled with taking anti depressants, I felt like an inadequate Christian. I thought to myself and even told my dr. “I talk to the Prince of Peace everyday, how can I be depressed”?
My dr. told me that there was a man who would not leave his house when a flood was coming. A boat came by to get him, a plane came by to get him and the man drowned because he would not get on the plane or the boat. He went to Heaven and he told the Lord, “I was waiting for you to save me”
The Lord said, “I sent a plane and a boat you were supposed to use them”. That is what my dr. said to get me to feel comfortable taking medication. The Lord did send that help and I praise Him for it.
yes. antidepressants can be helpful. I thought I would never ever ever take them and even was one of those who once (inwardly) looked down on those who did. But god brought me to the end of myself and allowed me to crash…and the whole time I was in the word and faithful to “do” all I was supposedly supposed to be doing. But I still crashed. It was something so much bigger than me and out of my control. My doctor gave me several options—natural stuff, push through and take nothing, or antidepressants. I ended up taking a very low dose for a short time, and it is what got me to the point where I could even look up again. It was a physical/chemical thing that was going on. I needed help and god used a wise doctor who doesn’t abuse the use of antidepressants, but uses them sparingly and as a last resort. I now do not judge those who take them. That is a work God did in me through my own experience. I thank God daily for my experience with depression, because it moved me into a better place where I could be even more affective in serving others…without judgement.
I wrote some things about my experience with depression if you are interested:
http://ginaknowsnothing.blogspot.com/
Great post. I always had ante-natal and post partum depression with each pregnancy. Clearly it was something hormonal, but, at the time, I couldn’t get any help. At the church we were attending at the time, I was told that if I was “really” saved, I would have this problem, so the pastor tried to “get me saved” again, which as you may imagine only made it worse…so then I tried to psych myself out “I’m not really depressed”…and that only works for so long…my husband would get frustrated because he couldn’t understand this either, and there was no family member I could turn to…I am so glad all of that is in the past…the fact is, it is real, it does happen to quite a few women whose bodies/hormones don’t respond well to pregnancy…if you aren’t in a supportive church…find one! it will make a huge difference.
Some days I just got through one day at a time, because that was all I could do. Just take it one step at a time, trusting God every step of the way, and finding others who can help lead you out of that horrible cave. Praying for you!
I suffer from depression also and I really needed to read this. Mine started about 6 years ago after the death of my stepfather. It is a struggle but God has truly seen me through this. God Bless you!
Depression can absolutely stem from a chemical imbalance within the brain – and with postnatal depression, it is most often the case. It is difficult for Christians to admit struggles – and yet we all have them in one way or another. I had severe postpartum depression after my 2nd daughter was born, and it lasted for months and months – and required medication and a lot of support. The medication was like a crutch for a broken leg – not a permanent solution, but a tool to help. And the need for it was temporary – but necessary…
Depression is not a sin – it is a condition that has roots in the physical, emotional, and spiritual. It is not simply one or the other.
Beautiful, Allicia!
i pray, too, that the woman that you answered will be healed and stand on the Word.
You understand the depths that depression can take us, and because you are compassionate, you also know the heights that hope can lift us.
Thank you for this post.
May god bless you as you bless us.
Love you!
I pray that anyone who suffers from depression knows they are not alone! There have been times when I had to pray that God guided me through the next five minutes, and then five minutes later,I would pray the same thing. You will get through this with His strength; just hold on to Him and don’t let go!
Thank you so much for sharing this! I had to finally get help for my depression. I had called out to God. It is frowned upon by many Christians to get medicinal help for depression, but don’t we get medicine or help for allergies or anything else going on that hinders us or causes pain? When I came forth and said I had a problem, I had so many that said they had faced depression and had gotten help including my pastor’s wife.