Today I am replying to this reader…
“I struggle with keeping up with my house and all the kids; and then I feel guilty for not being able to keep up with all my ministries at church too. Help!”
Have I walked in these shoes before.. Let me begin with a little history on myself:
I have two children..well, teens now…I’m a stay at home, homeschooling mom. We spent five years in the mission field and are active in our home church. As a matter of fact, we’ve always been active in whatever church we’ve been a part of.
I very much believe that a wife’s calling is to be a help meet to her husband. My husband can’t stand clutter and so it is very important to me to keep the house cleaned and organized. This creates a happier hubby and therefore, a happier family. Reading those few sentences, it doesn’t sound like a very busy life. But when you’re living it…..believe me, you meet yourself coming and going!!!
We’re all aware of the Proverbs 31 woman…I’ve affectionately dubbed her, Wonder Woman. As a young Christian, wife and mom, I thought she was everything I had to be….and to a degree, I was right.
She’s not lazy, she gets up before everyone and goes to bed after everyone. She buys and sells, makes sure everyone is fed and clothed..including her servants!! She not only makes their own clothes, but even the bedspreads too!! She helps the poor and needy. She is wise and kind and her husband and children honor and praise her.
Confession here, I tried for a time to do this everyday of my life and you know what? I failed miserably!! I was complaining about this to my “spiritual” mother one day and she just quietly chuckled, took my hands in hers, looked me in the eye and said, “Honey, you need to understand….what you’re reading is over this woman’s lifetime. She accomplished all of this…but during different seasons in her life.”
Well, you know what?? I felt like I’d been set free!!!
As wives and moms we put so much unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We tell ourselves that we can’t possibly tell Pastor that we can’t teach the Tiny Tots Sunday school class. After all, we should be good at handling tiny tots, we’ve got 3 at home of our own!! Visit the shut ins? Sure!! Homeschool our kids? Absolutely!! Teach VBS? You betcha!! Pick up the part for hubby’s truck? No problem!! Sing a solo next Sunday? I’m on it!!….and look good doing all of it, right?
Wrong.
All that we will accomplish is burn out…and quickly.
Our ministries at church are important, no doubt. Visiting the shut ins, baking a casserole for the neighbor who just had surgery, teaching VBS…all very needed, very important ministries. But you must fit this in around Dr appointments, school, laundry, meals, cleaning, grocery shopping…..
Is there a balance? I believe so.
The first thing that you must do is ask yourself what season of life you are in as a woman.
If you’re a newlywed, then you are more able to visit a shut in or teach VBS. If you have tiny tots, you’re probably more suited to do the card ministry or the phone tree.
If you have teenagers, then visiting the shut ins and taking the neighbor a casserole is a wonderful ministry because you are able to get them involved and not only teach them but show them first hand service.
An empty nester??? Then you can truly ask God where He needs you and fill that position because at some point, you’ve been a part of all of it.
True…saying, “I’m sorry. I wish I could _______ but I just can’t at this time” is a tough thing to do. But, if we are finding ourselves frazzled and burned out, then we’re truly not accomplishing anything with a Godly heart and attitude, and therefore not pleasing Christ in the first place.
Today, spend some time in your prayer closet with God and ask Him what He desires of you ministry-wise. He’s a faithful God and He’ll let you know just where he desires you to be….and remember….there is a huge ministry in the calling of wife and mom.
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Found your blog from “treasured up and pondered” (a friend from church) and had to respond. THANK YOU SO MUCH for such a timely reminder. I am in this season right now, of feeling like “I just can’t accomplish everything that needs to be done, and I am feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.” We have a five year old, who demands a lot of my attention when we are home and I also work four days a week. Therefore, the house isn’t as tidy ad I’D like it, nor are full course meals provided each day, etc. etc. The reality is you are right, the Proverbs 31 woman did it over a lifetime. So glad that God used this message to speak to my heart this mornign!
So glad that God could use this to speak to your heart!!
Thank you! That revelation was *exactly* what I have needed. I’ve always said it’s more “juggling” than it is a balancing act, and this just paints that image even brighter! While juggling, we only hold one or two items at a time, while balancing a whole stack of items can weigh heavy! Thank you! May YHWH bless you and your family!
Not only can a whole stack weigh heavy, but we end up dropping most of it!!! Blessings to you!!
Yes, the Proverbs 31 woman did this over a lifetime, and don’t forget, the Scripture says she had servants. Probably other family members helped, too, especially daughters. (I don’t know why, but I used to think she did every little thing, while the servants and other family members sat around, lol.) She was industrious and organized and oversaw the whole operation, which was a marvellous task. Thanks for sharing.
I had to smile, I hadn’t given much thought to those servants either…that they helped her!! Thanks for sharing that!!
My husband put a stop to my over-doing when the children started coming. He instructed me to say, “I’m sorry, my husband said I can’t do that right now.” He said he was more willing to have to foot the blame (and the gossip) than to put up with an over wrought wife.
He truly is a blessing.
What a wonderful husband you have…and I must add that I’m sure he has a wonderful help meet as well!!
My favorite verse in the Bible is Ecclesiastes 3:1 which talks about there being a time and season for everything. I have learned this over the years. I recently made the decision to return to school. I knew this would mean something has to go. Since that something isn’t going to be my family, I decided to quit my part-time job. It’s a job I have loved, but I can’t be a teacher, a mom and a student all at the same time. I wish I could get my hubby to take this verse to heart!!
What a wonderful encouraging word. The seasons of life perspective is so insightful and freeing for me… Thank you.
Thank you very much for this!!
I think one of the most important things the Proverbs 31 woman does is to rise up early, before everyone else. What a difference that makes, in every season of life.
Thank you so much for your ministry online. I have 4 active young boys and a teenage niece who now lives with us and lately I have been feeling so burned out and like I just can’t do it all. Thank you for your encouragement and for reminding me that its ok that I can’t do it all by myself.
Thank you. This message helped me alot. I often put a lot of pressure on myself internally to accomplish a LONG “to do” list each day and it just isn’t reasonable many times. Thank you for encouraging me to remember there are seasons to our lives!