My son, hear the instruction of your father,
And do not forsake the law of your mother;
~Proverbs 1:8
Once upon a time, my children attended a wonderful Bible program at a local church. We were thrilled with most of the results of this program, but there were a few extra activities sponsored by the program’s leaders we found difficult to reconcile with our family’s convictions. In addition to that, the Lord began to show us that because we had this wonderful Bible program in our children’s lives, we no longer studied the Bible together as a family at home. We were allowing someone else to do our job for us, and even when problems arose with the program, we shrugged our shoulders at them and went on.
The event that finally pushed us out of the program and back into the role we should have been assuming all along was a matter of inconvenience more than anything else…the leaders moved the program to Sunday night, which conflicted with our worship time among our own body of believers. Once we took a step back from the program, we were better able to assess what the Lord truly wanted for our family and what our responsibility to our children was based on Scripture.
That said, the program we were involved in was a wonderful tool, but one our family was unable to use properly. We allowed the program and its leaders to be the main Biblical influence in our children’s lives. I have a suspicion we are not the only ones who struggle to keep such “tools” in their proper place.
It is imperative at every turn to analyze whether or not you are allowing others to be the primary influence over your children. Go to Scripture and consider what it says concerning the following aspects of your children’s lives:
*church – from whom is the majority of their Bible training coming from?
*school – who is instructing them? Remember Luke 6:40: A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher.
*extra-curricular activities – how much time are your children spending in pursuits that are directed by others? How necessary are these pursuits?
Even if you are exposing your children to “good influences” (as you should), have you allowed someone else to become their MAIN influence? Does Scripture set a precedent for this or are you purposely, or even accidentally, allowing someone else to claim the highest authority over your children?
Consider these words from Psalm 127:3 -
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
These children were given to YOU. They are YOUR reward and YOUR heritage. YOU are to train them up (Proverbs 22:6). No matter how inadequate you may feel, God tells us He will equip us (2 Timothy 3:17), so rise up, parents, and be the most influential person in your child’s life!
It’s so true. I see family after family looking for the reason that their children are not close to them, won’t talk to them, are not influenced by them. These parents are wondering what they did wrong even as young as 4 or 5. When I think about a school aged childs day, (or a preschooler in day care) I see school, extra activities, often age segragated church classes or programs and see few hours left at home most of which are spent sleeping, bathing, eating and watching tv.
Who is really raising up these children?
I am so thankful that God has revealed this truth to our family before we set off on the same course as the world.
Thanks for the great post!
Excellent reminder Amy! Thank you for these wonderful words today! It is easy to leave the brunt of the responsibility of raising our children to others or other things. Thank you for the gentle reminder that these gifts where given to US to shape, form and mold for Him!
Thank you for this beautiful post. I think it really hits the nail on the head. Parents are the most important influence on their children and if we want them to grow up with our faith and beliefs and morals, than it is up to us to teach them that, not someone else.
This post has once again pointed out to me that making a decision to homeschool starting in September is the right thing to do. I want my children to be close to the Lord, close to us, and close to each other.
dear amy,
this is an excellent point you have raised. are
we settling for good when we should be doing
the best for our kids?
we were laughing with our grown kids about
the most happening kids’ program in our city
many years ago. we took ours out but not
before they had some pretty crazy experiences.
Outstanding article, Amy! Yeah! Echoes my feelings exactly.
We homeschool and do lots of Bible study together, but a neighbor invited my daughter to Awana. She wanted to go and they gave her a ride there every week. It didn’t really interfere with anything at home. My daughter memorized many scriptures. She didn’t understand what they meant, but she could rattle them off. I started letting my son go, too. They each told me at different times about kids saying things to them that made them mad or pushing them, etc. I started thinking about what I was doing. Were they really getting anything good out of this? If so, did the good outweigh the bad of the kids being mean to them, without my being there to see what was going on and intervening if necessary? I prayed about it and decided it wasn’t a good idea. The whole concept is really contrary to what I’m trying to do with my children. I want them to learn the Word because they want to know what it says. I don’t want them to do it for prizes. I want them to learn in a safe environment where I can be there for them and explain meanings to them when necessary. It just didn’t work out for us. They weren’t very upset when I told them I had prayed about it and felt like the Lord was saying they shouldn’t go any more. So that was the end of that.
[...] principle behind what Dr. Baucham does is applicable to every father. He is taking his role as a primary influence in his children’s lives seriously. He is teaching his sons the ways of a man…an [...]