Great Marriages are Created
Great marriages do not just happen, they are created! In my four years of marriage I have learned that marriage is not easy, and I really don’t think it’s supposed to be. A marriage is something that grows and develops, and growth is rarely easy.
There are many things that help our marriages to grow and be created, and none of them happen overnight.
Challenges in marriage help us to grow closer together. When a challenge occurs, some have the tendency to give up. That is all wrong! In James 1:2-4 we read,
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (ESV)
I think that this not only holds true in our walk with God but also in our marriages. When we experience trials or challenges, it brings us closer together! It strengthens the bond that we have with each other. So, consider it joy and work through it together!
Trials aren’t the only thing that helps us grow in our marriages, though. When we spend time together, we are growing closer together and creating that lifelong bond. Also, spending time together helps us keep the “spark” alive.
Here are some things that my husband and I do to keep our marriage alive and growing:
- Talk
Even though we don’t have children yet, we still try to eat together at the table enjoying one another’s company. This really allows us time to just talk with one another. This can happen throughout the day, after the kids go to sleep, in the morning, anytime!
- Date nights
We personally try to go out together (or stay in together) once a week, this doesn’t always happen, but we try. Also, this does not have to involve spending a lot of money, or any! You could take a walk in a park, get ice cream together, rub each others feet. If you have children, you could find another couple who wants to spend time together and set up a baby-sitting rotation.
- Read marriage enrichment books together
Our personal goal is to read one marriage book together a year. Reading together is great bonding in and of itself, let alone what you are learning through reading. When we read together we sit on the couch together and just enjoy being close.
- Kiss passionately
This needs to happen at least once a day, preferably more in my book! This is one of those things that will help to keep the “spark” alive! These little moments of affection can go a long way in a marriage!
- Cuddle together
This one is my favorite! We try to sleep in a little bit and cuddle together at least once a week. Cuddling just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I just feel so close to him afterwards.
- Be Intimate
Enjoy your spouse and let them enjoy you! This is a joy and blessing in marriage, and we need to invest in our times of intimacy and make them enjoyable! For many men, their love language is touch, and not many things will speak more clearly that you love them than having enjoyable intimate time together regularly!
- Pray together
This is very important! I once read a book that said that when couples pray together, divorce rates plummet to less than 1%. That is amazing! This is so important in a marriage! It not only brings you closer to each other, but it also draws you both closer to God. We found that the best time for us to pray together is before going to bed.
These are all simple things that we do to keep our marriage close, alive, and growing. In doing so, we are creating a marriage that will last and be filled with joy!
What is your favorite thing to do to keep your marriage growing and alive? Share below, we could all use more ideas!
Ashley is 20-something years old and lives in Central Ohio with her husband, Michael, and their three cats. Ashley and Michael have been married for four years. They are in the beginning stages of adopting through the foster care system and are both very excited to become parents! Ashley loves her role as the keeper of her home and takes great pride in the calling God has given her to be in her home now and in the future with children.
You can find Ashley regularly at her personal blog, Putting God First Place.
Great post - and I agree - a good marriage is a lot of work. I've been married almost 12 years. There are two things that I find to help our marriage.
One is to intentionally smile at my husband - try to look at him the way I did when we were dating - with a sparkle in my eye. And be cheerful - it changes the atmosphere of the home.
And two - do not let bitterness take root in my heart. Bitterness is ugly and can make you say or do all sorts of "out of character" things. I wrote a blog on this here if any of your readers would like to see "How to get rid of bitterness in your marriage".
http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/2009/06/5-steps-to-dealing-with-bitterness.html
Hope it helps!
Courtney
Awesome marital advice!!!
Thanks so much for sharing! I totally agree that we can never do enough to keep the "spark" alive! One thing that my DH and I enjoy is attending marriage conferences. We attended A Weekend to Remember 2 years ago and are attending another marriage conference in August. A lot of times people think that they are only for couples who are struggling or on the brink of divorce. That is so not true! We use them as a time to get away, revaluate and reconnect! Last time we went by ourselves. In August we are going with lots of friends. I think it is going to be an AWESOME experience. I am expecting God to show up in a BIG way!!